Critical Much

Critical Much?

© 2010 Phyllis D. Jolliff

"Don't pick on people, jump on their failures, criticize their faults— unless, of course, you want the same treatment. That critical spirit has a way of boomeranging. It's easy to see a smudge on your neighbor's face and be oblivious to the ugly sneer on your own. Do you have the nerve to say, 'Let me wash your face for you,' when your own face is distorted by contempt? It's this whole traveling road-show mentality all over again, playing a holier-than-thou part instead of just living your part. Wipe that ugly sneer off your own face, and you might be fit to offer a washcloth to your neighbor. (Matthew 7:1-5 The Message)

         If you were at this year’s Women’s Retreat, you heard my confession Sunday morning that I had been harboring a critical spirit for at least the last couple of years.  Let me again apologize to you, my sisters, for that critical attitude.

It made me sick when I allowed God to open my eyes and show me what I had been doing for so long.  Some say I hid it well, but I didn’t really…at least not from the One who matters most.  God heard every critical word and every critical thought that entered my mind.  He has listened to me complain about the way I think things should be…never getting a word in to tell me what I was doing was wrong.  He heard me criticizing His children, and I guarantee you that, as a parent, He didn’t like it.  I know how it makes me feel when one of my kids criticizes the other one…I can only imagine how it must have made Him feel when I was doing the same.  It’s revolting to know that I have saddened the heart of God.

Even if the people I was criticizing never heard me, others around me did hear.  My family often heard my snide comments about people and things I didn’t agree with.  My critical spirit spilled out and splashed onto anyone who heard my grumblings.  It flowed like an oozing bed sore to my husband, my children, my friends…whoever was near to hear my complaint.

Were my opinions and perceptions always wrong in every situation?  Probably not.  But being right doesn’t give us the right to be critical of others.  It’s not my job…or yours…to fix, convict, or judge.  Our job is to love and pray.

What would happen if, instead of criticizing, we prayed for God to bring that person into His fullness and grace?  Pray that He would use them in His own special way?  What if we turned those negative thoughts into prayers that God would show them His will and give them the strength to follow?  I have a strong feeling that those prayers would move mountains…mountains of doubt…mountains of guilt…mountains of emptiness.

So what am I to do?  Ephesians 4:22-24 (NIV) says, “You were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put off your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires; to be made new in the attitude of your minds; and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness.” And Philippians 2:5 (NIV) say, “Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus.”

Now if I’m supposed to have a new attitude of mind and have the same attitude of Christ Jesus, then I had better be making some huge changes!  Four things come to mind as I pray about this that I need to do:

1.      Ask for God’s forgiveness

2.      Ask for forgiveness from those God shows me I need to speak with

3.      Make a conscious decision moment by moment to stop being critical, praying for the person instead

4.      Forgive myself

Is it going to be easy?  Ha!!  Do you realize God made me get up in front of sixty-something ladies and confess that I had been critical…toward some of them??  No…this will not be easy!  But changes have to come.  Changes will come!

         Are you harboring criticism in your heart?  I challenge you to join me.  Replace criticism with prayer…let’s see where it goes!